sleepless..

sometimes i wish i had a sister to talk to. things are not getting any easier now but who is there to tell me that things are gona be fine. now im just tired of how things turns out. life was never meant to be easy but i guess it would be less of a burden if theres someone that sticks out for you. they wont be there for you all the time but its great enough if they're there on your toughest days. okay. lets just face it, no ones ever got everything they wish for and you're never gona be that lucky,kid.

M

too overwhelming

i dreamt of her again. its the second time in just 2 weeks. i could still remember my heart pounding and tears rolling down my cheeks every time i wake up. i think it shows how much i fear of losing her. i never thought i was so attached to her knowing that we live so far away and we only get to meet twice a year max. the last visit was really heart-breaking.i felt like my heart dropped when i had to let go of her hand.my tears just kept rolling by then.
its like we are all just waiting. and it hurts cause no one can take her pain away. i know she spends her days now just wondering when allah will take her. thats what she asked me once and that really got me. i was speechless.
i miss her childhood stories and i would love to listen to all of them again. now shes just too tired to even talk. gasping air every time she finishes her sentences. sigh...
Mak, i hope you know that

we'll always pray the best for you. amin.

love,

M