too overwhelming

i dreamt of her again. its the second time in just 2 weeks. i could still remember my heart pounding and tears rolling down my cheeks every time i wake up. i think it shows how much i fear of losing her. i never thought i was so attached to her knowing that we live so far away and we only get to meet twice a year max. the last visit was really heart-breaking.i felt like my heart dropped when i had to let go of her hand.my tears just kept rolling by then.
its like we are all just waiting. and it hurts cause no one can take her pain away. i know she spends her days now just wondering when allah will take her. thats what she asked me once and that really got me. i was speechless.
i miss her childhood stories and i would love to listen to all of them again. now shes just too tired to even talk. gasping air every time she finishes her sentences. sigh...
Mak, i hope you know that

we'll always pray the best for you. amin.

love,

M