i dreamt of her again. its the second time in just 2 weeks. i could still remember my heart pounding and tears rolling down my cheeks every time i wake up. i think it shows how much i fear of losing her. i never thought i was so attached to her knowing that we live so far away and we only get to meet twice a year max. the last visit was really heart-breaking.i felt like my heart dropped when i had to let go of her hand.my tears just kept rolling by then. its like we are all just waiting. and it hurts cause no one can take her pain away. i know she spends her days now just wondering when allah will take her. thats what she asked me once and that really got me. i was speechless. i miss her childhood stories and i would love to listen to all of them again. now shes just too tired to even talk. gasping air every time she finishes her sentences. sigh... Mak, i hope you know that
I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time Know there was something that, and something that I left behind When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets Leave something to remember, so they won't forget
~Queen B~
sometimes i think of what will happen when my time comes.
what would be the things that reminds them of me?
what impact have i made in their lives? bad ones or good ones?
would the people i love be there with me till the end?
would i remain in their hearts and memories?
only allah knows.
its a scary feeling, not knowing what will happen a year later, tomorrow or even today.
but i really hope when its time, the people ive hurt have forgiven me, especially my family.
i apologize for everything ive done. may allah bless all of u. amin :)
to mak, please be strong. hang in there. we're all here for you. but, if it is time for you to go, we just want you to know that we love you from the bottom of our hearts and im sorry if i ever did anything to hurt you. may allah bless your precious soul and may u r.i.p in heaven. u remain in our hearts forever,mak <3
